Sunday, April 30, 2023
Eulogy
In the last year, I’ve been thinking a lot about the things we should be thankful for and the people we should appreciate. When I first met my mother-in-law, she was Mrs. Zornosa, the wife of my friend and colleague, Dr. Zornosa. Over time and with familiarity, she became Rosario - and then I fell in love with her daughter, and we got married and she was Mama from then on. My children never knew a day without her until they left for college. She was a part of everything we did - going out to dinner, to movies, celebrating birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, and traveling everywhere - and she was fearless - riding a snowmobile in New Mexico, hiking in the Grand Canyon or through bear country in North Carolina, hopping into Rob’s plane to go off somewhere and even taking a helicopter over a volcano in Hawaii. She was ready for anything and always with a smile.
That aside, she was a very strong woman. You don’t survive the loss of a child without an inner well of strength to keep you going. A dedicated wife and mother married to the love of her life, Rafael, she raised three wonderful children to be a perfect mix of their parents- smart, accomplished and kind. Her five grandchildren Oscar, Andres, Francisco, Rebekah and Daniel were always a source of joy to her and even in her illness, she was able to enjoy her beautiful great-granddaughter, Rylee. She loved her whole family and was thrilled to have her sister Soledad living close by.
Rob and I had a conversation one day about how we hoped our wives would be just like their mother. It was an unusual conversation for sons-in-law to have about their mother-in-law.
After Rosario moved in with us and illness robbed her so much of who she was, I watched Claudia care for her 24/7 for years with so much love and tenderness and no matter how exhausting it was, no complaints. And I realized my wife was just like her mother.
I grew up much like my children did. My maternal grandmother lived with us from the time I was born and did everything with us. Years after she passed away, I asked my father, “did it ever bother you that Grandma was always with us every day?” He laughed and said, “the house wouldn’t have been the same without her.”
And all these years later, history repeats itself. I’ll laugh when I think of coming home from work. I’d say, hello, Mama. And she’d say hola, niño. You know what, Mama? Our house definitely wouldn’t have been the same without you.
There is a Hebrew proverb - Say not in grief that she is no more but live in thankfulness that she was.
We were fortunate to be able to love and care for her for so many years and even more fortunate still - to have her love and care for us. And for that we should all be eternally grateful.